For the past several days we've been studying the proper behavior of the Christian. Paul has told us to put off the old man and put on the new man. We have been made into new creatures on the inside, so what's on the outside should reflect our new identity in Christ. Today we tackle the subjects of the type of language the Christian should not use and the ways in which the Christian should not satisfy physical desires.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) Unwholesome talk includes things like cursing and telling dirty jokes. Paul says the test of what comes out of our mouths should be this, "Is what I'm about to day going to benefit anyone?" Or, as the Lord's brother James puts it, "Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be." (James 3:10) I'm reminded of a T-shirt I saw not long ago. It said, "I love Jesus, but I cuss a little." Paul and James tell us this shouldn't be the case. We may sincerely love Jesus, but unbelievers around us are going to doubt it if our speech sounds just like theirs. As Paul has been telling us, becoming a Christian means we have to clean up our act, and cleaning up our act means cleaning up our mouths. Do we sometimes say a bad word when we shut our finger up in a drawer? Do we sometimes repeat an off-color joke to a friend? Paul says these forms of speech fail the test, for they don't build up or benefit the listener.
Paul says that unwholesome speech is not only unseemly for the Christian but that it also grieves the Holy Spirit. "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:30-32) Before we became Christians we might have handled our conflicts with others by yelling at them, holding grudges against them, and slandering their names. But God, even though we don't deserve forgiveness, has forgiven us because of our faith in Christ. Therefore we ought to forgive others. Do they deserve it? That's not the issue, because we didn't deserve forgiveness either. Are they sorry for what they did to us? If they are living in the will of God they will be. But even if they aren't sorry, we are called to let go of bitterness and leave the situation up to God. Hanging onto unforgiveness is harmful to us, so God tells us to to forgive the person so we can go on with our lives with peace in our hearts. If any vengeance needs to be taken on our behalf, God will handle it. We don't need to concern ourselves with that, for He has said, "Vengeance is Mine. I will repay." (Deuteronomy 32:35) Since we have been forgiven by God, Paul says we are to be like God in our attitude toward those who have wronged us, "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2)
As new creatures it's important to keep not just our lips pure but our bodies pure as well. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." (Ephesians 5:3-4) Before we became Christians we may have satisfied our physical desires in immoral ways. I was twenty-two years old when I became a Christian and I'd been in the habit of dealing with physical desires by sleeping with the young men I dated. So obviously my act needed a lot of cleaning up after I came to Christ. I met the man who is now my husband three weeks after giving my heart to Christ and I had to learn how to be in a romantic relationship with a man without also being in a physical relationship with him. Was it worth it? Yes, because it taught me how to develop a mental and spiritual relationship with a man. When we got married we knew our attraction to each other was based on something that had a chance of standing the test of time. We knew we had more than just a physical connection. Has our marriage always been easy? Oh no, we've thought seriously about giving up quite a few times. And I think we would have given up long ago if our connection had been based only on something as shallow as physical attraction. That's something that changes and fades as time goes on, so you can't base a solid marriage on it.
When Paul speaks of physical immorality he again brings up the subject of unwholesome speech, and I think that's because these things can go hand in hand. We are on shaky ground when we engage in this type of speech with others. For example, maybe you are a woman and an attractive male co-worker tells you an off-color joke at work today. You laugh at it so he feels emboldened to start being flirtatious with you from time to time. This can lead to one or the other of you making a physical move. The next thing you know, you may be involved in a physical relationship with a person to whom you are not married. One or the other of you (or both) may already be married to someone else, and suddenly you find yourselves engaged in adultery. The things we say can lead us to places we never thought we'd end up, so Paul reminds us again to watch our mouths.
Paul is asking us, "Did Christ save you so you could go on living in immorality? Did He not save you so that you could be new creatures with a new purpose in life? He paid a huge price to buy you out of slavery to sin. You owe it to Him to honor Him with purity of living."
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