Paul has been talking about the proper "clothing" (behavior) that the Christian ought to wear. Today he mentions several specific behaviors the Christian is to avoid, and he pays particular attention to the subject of anger.
First he begins by reminding us that we are not to deceive each other. Is there anything that makes us angrier than knowing someone is lying to us or realizing they have cheated us somehow? Is there any quicker way to make someone angry at us than having them find out we lied to them? It's easy to see why Paul starts off with commanding us to be honest in our dealings with one another. "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25) When we hurt a member of the body of Christ we are hurting ourselves at the same time. Thinking we can hurt a brother or sister in Christ without hurting ourselves in the process is as illogical as saying, "It's ok if I stub my big toe really hard. My toe is just a small part of my body. It won't bother me." Our whole body feels it when we stub a toe. A message goes straight from the nerve endings in our toe to our brain and then we experience a sensation of intense pain. Knowing this, who would ever want to stub their toe on purpose? Probably no one! We try our best to protect every part of our bodies so that we won't cause ourselves pain. In this same way we should try our best to avoid causing pain to a member of the church, because that member is a part of us, and when we hurt a member of the church we are doing harm to ourselves. We are harming our reputations, our testimonies, and our relationships.
The apostle now quotes the words of David from Psalm 4:4, "'In your anger do not sin.'" (Ephesians 4:26a) Even after we become Christians, there are things that are going to make us angry. Some things ought to make us feel righteously indignant, such as injustice and abuse. We see things on the news sometimes that we wish we could unsee. This fallen world is a world in which the weak and the innocent and the naive often suffer at the hands of the unscrupulous and cruel. Such things ought to make us feel upset because they are wrong, but even in those cases we have to learn to handle our emotions in ways that aren't sinful. A way to deal constructively with these emotions is to "overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21) by doing works that relieve some of the injustices that we're aware of. Have we heard a story about animal abuse? Then maybe we can do our part to help animals by adopting or fostering, or by donating time or money to animal charities. Has an elderly widow in our neighborhood been swindled out of most of her savings? We could take her a load of groceries or pay her overdue light bill. Are there children in our church who have horrible home lives where they don't receive approval or kindness? We can show them the love of Christ by taking an interest in them and by helping them to build a healthy self-esteem. These are just a few examples of how we can channel our anger into things that are helpful instead of sinful.
But I think primarily Paul is not talking about the things that moral people naturally feel indignant about. I think he's talking about personal conflicts between church members and I think he's talking about the things that happen to us out in society that really push our buttons. He's warning us not to sin when we become angry over trespasses that are made against us. I often think of verse 26 when I'm going through one of the many four-way stops in my community. At a four-way stop each car is supposed to pull out in the order in which it arrived at the stop sign. But pretty much every day someone will sail on through in front of all the rest of us even though they arrived at the stop sign last. This is not only rude and aggravating but dangerous as well. This is one of the situations where I am most likely to be angry and to sin! Their behavior startles and scares me, plus it makes me feel trespassed upon, and I sometimes find myself wishing I could just tell that person off. (No, I don't make any rude gestures at them, but I have been known to say out loud to myself exactly what I think about people who have no consideration for the feelings or safety of others.) In fact, things that happen on the road are the things most likely to push my buttons. Rudeness of any kind has the tendency to make me feel very angry inside, and although I don't often act out, the feelings in my heart are sinful at those times.
I'm just being honest here, so while I'm at it I'll go ahead and tell you I have problems obeying the second half of verse 26 too. "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." (Ephesians 4:26b) I've heard several people in long-term marriages proclaim, "In the fifty years we've been together, we've never once gone to bed angry at each other!" I'm always tempted to ask, somewhat jokingly, "Did you stay up a lot of nights?" My husband and I have been married twenty-four years and I don't know exactly how many nights we've gone to bed angry at each other. If someone paid us a dollar for every time it's happened I would say we would at least have enough to eat a very nice dinner out. Maybe enough for two dinners! But in a lot of those cases what we were doing was calling a temporary cease fire; we were still angry but we were tired and we were going to stop arguing and go to sleep. After all, a lot of things look better in the morning. Many times by morning we were over whatever had made us angry. I think there's a difference between calling a cease fire and in tossing and turning all night while we fume with anger. (We've spent some night like that too.) But in my marriage there have been way more cease fires than nights spent tossing and turning in anger. So I believe Paul is saying, "When evening comes, lay your differences aside. Don't allow them to fester overnight. Don't lie awake in bed turning the problem over and over in your mind, thinking about all the mean things you wish you'd said, planning what angry things you intend to say in the morning. Think of it this way: When you allow a physical wound to fester it becomes worse instead of better. It can even turn into an deadly infection that affects the whole body. The same thing happens in relationships. If you allow anger to fester it will begin to infect the whole relationship. It might even kill the relationship."
Sinning in our anger does nothing to help the situation. It hurts our own character and testimony. It hurts the other person or persons involved. It displeases the Lord. And, if those things aren't enough to make us stop and think before we act out in anger, we need to take into account what Paul says next, "And do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:27) Allowing our anger to cause us to sin actually gives Satan an advantage over us. First of all, it shows him what pushes our buttons. You can bet he will try to put those things in our path as often as possible now that he knows how they affect us. This is like opening the door just enough for him to stick his toe into our business. Second, giving way to our anger hardens our hearts against feelings of guilt over the things we do when we're angry. The first time we lash out we might feel quite bad afterwards. The second time we may not feel as bad. The third time we are even less bothered by it. Eventually we are going to feel justified about any behavior we produce when we're angry. This opens the door even further and allows Satan to get his whole foot inside. Third, when we start giving in to one particular sin we become more likely to give in to other sins. The Holy Spirit will still be shouting out warnings to us, but our consciences will have become dull of hearing. It's at that point we are in serious danger, because we can open up the door so wide to sin that Satan gets a stronghold in our lives. He will be all the way inside the door where he can more effectively persuade us to go down a dark road with him to places we never imagined ourselves going. We can end up putting ourselves in circumstances where we lose the respect of our fellow Christians, where our testimony of faith means nothing to anyone around us, and where relationships we hold dear have been badly damaged or even severed forever.
Anger seems like a little thing at first. Giving in to it now and then seems fairly harmless to us. But it's a thing that festers and grows. It's a thing that can lead to other forms of sin. Today's passage is one I know I really need to take to heart, and maybe some of you do too. Let's shut the door firmly on Satan by getting control over our anger issues with the help of the Lord. The Lord wouldn't tell us not to sin while we're angry if He wasn't willing to help us to gain control over anger. He's not going to command us to do something without giving us the power to obey Him.
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