The Second Book Of Samuel. Day 47, A Wise Woman Gives Advice To David, Part One

David's eldest son and heir-apparent, Amnon, has been murdered by David's third born son, Absalom. Absalom had Amnon killed two years after Amnon raped Tamar who was Amnon's half-sister and Absalom's full sister. After arranging for Tamar to be alone in the house with him, Amnon grabbed her and forced her to lie with him and then threw her out of his house in disregard of the law of Deuteronomy 22:28-29 which stated that he must marry her. When David found out what Amnon had done, the Bible told us he was furious but did nothing to remedy the situation. Absalom was furious too, but lacking the power of his father David to force Amnon to restore Tamar's dignity by marrying her, he stewed in his anger for two full years until his anger turned into a murderous plot to kill Amnon---a plot which he carried out after inviting Amnon to his annual sheep shearing feast. 

What Amnon did to Tamar was a sin and a crime but it was not a capital crime in ancient Israel for him to have had his way with a single, unengaged woman. Rape was a capital crime if the woman was married or engaged, according to the list of sexual crimes mentioned in Deuteronomy 22. But in Tamar's case she was neither married nor betrothed to be married, so Amnon was not committing adultery in addition to committing rape (adultery was a capital crime), and therefore Absalom's execution of him was murder, not lawful justice. 

Now Amnon is dead and Absalom has fled to his maternal grandfather, King Talmai of Geshur, for protection. He doesn't know how David will react. Although David is his father who loves him, David is also the king of Israel who has a duty to uphold the law. Absalom doesn't know whether David will issue a warrant for his arrest, whether David will be content to leave him in exile forever for his crime, or whether David will extend mercy to him and call him home. David does absolutely nothing for three years except mourn his estrangement with Absalom, as we learned when we concluded Chapter 13 yesterday. Why does David so often find himself mired in place where his children are concerned? Why is a man of decisive action on the battlefield so indecisive and inactive when it comes to leading his family? I feel a lot of it has to do with his awareness of his own mistakes. He has been far more successful on the battlefront than on the homefront. He has managed the country far better than he has managed his own household. If he had married only one wife and had children only with her, most of his personal troubles would have been avoided. But he married multiple wives and concubines and, as if this female companionship weren't enough, he committed adultery with another man's wife. It appears as if David struggled with his sexual appetites and that this particular temptation was his "thorn in the flesh", so to speak. He knows he didn't set a godly example for his sons where sexual matters are concerned and feels responsible for the way Amnon regarded women. I think this is why he didn't take any action against Amnon when he shamefully forced Tamar to sleep with him. 

Because David took no action against Amnon either as a father or as a king, a seed of bitterness sprang up in Absalom's heart. His sister was dishonored and discarded and nothing was done about it. The longer nothing was done about it, the more his bitterness grew. By the time two years had passed, he hated Amnon so much that he wanted him dead and he took steps to make him dead. But if David had taken the situation in hand as soon as Amnon mistreated Tamar, and if he had enforced the law which said Amnon must marry Tamar and must provide for her as long as he lived without ever being allowed to divorce her, Absalom's sense of justice would have been mostly appeased. I think he would have always remembered Amnon's crime and would always have harbored dislike for Amnon, but he wouldn't have murdered him. If David had enforced the law, Tamar would have been the wife of the crown prince of Israel instead of hiding away in Absalom's house feeling shamed and dishonored by Amnon, unwanted in marriage by any other man, pitied for her unmarried state, and unprotected by David who should have taken her side both as a loving father and as a law-abiding king.

For three years Absalom has lived in exile, having no communication with his father, not asking his father's forgiveness, perhaps not believing his father can forgive him. David has spent those three years mourning Absalom's absence but taking no steps to restore his relationship with his son. Although he's aware of his own mistakes that contributed to the mistakes made by Amnon and Absalom, he's offered no apologies to Absalom for his failures as a father. He's offered no terms of reconciliation. This whole situation is at a standstill and David's nephew Joab realizes it will remain at a standstill forever if someone doesn't do something. He decides to be the person who does something. "Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king's heart longed for Absalom. So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, 'Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don't use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him.' And Joab put the words in her mouth." (2 Samuel 14:1-3) Over the next two days we'll study what words Joab put in her mouth. He will have her present a fictitious case to the king, similar to how the prophet Nathan presented a fictitious case to the king earlier in the book of 2 Samuel, to arouse his sympathies. Then, after David passes judgment on the case, like the prophet Nathan did the woman will essentially say, "You are the man!" by pointing out the similarities between her fictitious case and David's actual family situation. This ruse carried out by Joab and the wise woman will cause David to call Absalom back to Jerusalem.

Our text today gives no indication that Joab is motivated by anything other than a desire to help his Uncle David. It says that Joab "knew that the king's heart longed for Absalom". Some scholars speculate that Joab was politically motivated as well, believing Absalom is the best candidate to succeed David as king. Amnon, David's firstborn son, is dead. We do not know what happened to David's second son who was born to him and his second wife Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. This second son is mentioned only twice in the Bible, in 2 Samuel 3:3 and 1 Chronicles 3:1 in the list of David's sons who were born before he became king over all Israel. Nothing more is ever said about the son who should have been second in line for the throne and it is generally assumed that this means he died at a young age, perhaps before reaching adulthood but certainly before we reach our current chapter where it appears as if Joab considers Absalom the next man in line for the throne. Later in the book it will become clear that Absalom considers himself the next man in line for the throne. In fact, he won't be content to wait to inherit the throne but will attempt to take it from David while David is still living.