For the past two days we've been studying the near death experience that Paul had fourteen years before he wrote his second letter to the church at Corinth. He says he was taken into heaven where he heard things that no human being is allowed to hear. Today we learn that in order to keep Paul from thinking too much of himself due to this awesome experience, God has given him a thorn in the flesh.
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me." (2 Corinthians 12:7b) Paul doesn't specify what this problem is. The majority of scholars seem to think it was a chronic illness or perhaps just very poor eyesight. There is some evidence Paul had terrible eyesight because he once picked up a snake thinking it was a dead tree limb,because when not dictating his writings to a scribe he had to write with very large letters, and because he makes mention that the people of Galatia once loved him so much that they would have given their own eyes to him. (Acts 28:3, Galatians 4:15, Galatians 6:11) We don't know, however, when the problem with Paul's sight began. Such severe nearsightedness could have been a lifelong problem, and he may already have been dealing with it before he ever had his near death experience.
Some scholars think he had chronic recurrent malaria, an illness he contracted while ministering in the lowlands. It seems that he moved into the mountains and stayed in Galatia for some time to try to recover from whatever was ailing him, since he told the Galatians that it was because he was stricken with illness that he was in their area and able to preach the gospel to them. (Galatians 4:13-14) The fact that Luke traveled with Paul as not only a friend and scribe but also as a personal physician backs up the idea that Paul may have been in need of frequent medical care.
Yet other scholars speculate that the messenger of Satan troubled Paul in his mind instead of in his body. He may have suffered with depression or anxiety. If so he would be in good company, for many well-known theologians and scholars and ministers have had the same problems. Men like Martin Luther, John Wesley, Charles Spurgeon, and C.S. Lewis all admitted to how painfully they struggled against the dark depression that often beset them. Off the top of our heads, we can think of several Bible characters who dealt with anxiety and depression too: Moses, David, Elijah, Job, Jonah, and even the Lord Jesus who said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (Matthew 26:38, Mark 14:34)
It's a crying shame that for a very long time there was a stigma in the church about members who are dealing with mental issues. As someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since childhood, I have firsthand experience that there used to be a great deal of resistance in the church to the idea that a Christian can even have these problems, much less that a Christian should seek treatment for them. I'm thankful that the stigma against seeking treatment for mental problems appears to be going away, but I can't help wondering how many lives have been harmed by this attitude. The truth is that being a Christian doesn't exempt anyone from mental issues anymore than it exempts anyone from physical issues. We know now that most things like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and many others have a physical cause due to brain chemistry, heredity, or a combination of the two.
Some have speculated that Paul's thorn had nothing to do with his physical or mental state, but that it had to do with assaults from the outside, such as persecution or temptation. Whatever his thorn was, Paul didn't feel it was necessary to let the Corinthian believers in on it. God didn't feel it was necessary to let us in on it. I'm glad He didn't, because we can fill in that blank with whatever our own personal thorns may be. We each struggle with different things, and that may be the reason we are not told the nature of Paul's problem, so we can say, "If the Apostle Paul could persevere through his problem, so can I. If the Apostle Paul could do great things for the Lord in spite of his problem, so can I."
It's not that Paul didn't want the problem removed from his life. On the contrary, he says, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me." (2 Corinthians 12:8) The Greek word Paul uses means "to beg, to plead, to beseech, to entreat". Paul didn't just sit down to pray over his dinner three days in a row and say, "Oh, by the way, please take this problem out of my life. In Jesus' name, amen." No, he begged with all his might for the Lord to remove it. He may even have been fasting during the long days when he was down on his knees in tears pleading with God to take this particular struggle away. Think back on the times when you were really sick or when there was a major problem in your life. You didn't say, "Lord, make this go away. In Jesus' name, amen." No, you said, "Please, God, please! I'm begging You to make this go away. I know You have the power to fix it. There's nothing too hard for You. If You are willing, I can be made whole. If You are willing, this problem can be solved. Lord, I'll do anything if You'll just say yes!"
But the Lord said no to Paul, just as He sometimes has to say no to us, and just as He had to say no to Christ when He pleaded with tears, "Let this cup pass away from Me!" (Matthew 26:39) The Lord knew Paul would be a more effective minister if He left the struggle in his life. Sometimes that's the reason He leaves a struggle in our lives. Not all of our suffering in this world is due to sin; some of it is used to make us better at our calling and to make us more like Christ. The Lord told Paul no like this: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12:9a) If Paul had been a man who appeared mighty in strength and without a care in the world, I wonder how effective his ministry would have been. People could have scoffed at his words and said, "It's easy for him to talk about being strong in the faith! What has he ever had to endure? What does he know about suffering? How can he prove to us God's grace is sufficient when he has never had to rely on God's grace?"
After the Lord made it clear He intended to leave the struggle in Paul's life, Paul decided to look at it from a positive angle. "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10) Why was Paul stronger when he was weak? Because the power of the Lord enabled him to do what he could not do alone. The power of the Lord is so much stronger than the power of weak human flesh. This means the Lord received the glory due Him for anything Paul accomplished in this life. People could look at Paul and say, "He's short and bald and unimpressive-looking and untrained in public speaking and shabby in his dress and troubled by a chronic problem, but look what the Lord is doing through him! See how great his love is for the Lord! See how great his faith is! If the Lord can take a man like him and do wonderful things, surely the Lord can do something with me!"
I believe in keeping it real, so I don't mind admitting to you that lately depression has been lying on me day and night like a heavy black cloak. Some of it is situational, but some of it is due to the hereditary anxiety and depression that is so prevalent in my family. I can't brag and say, "I got out of bed this morning in spite of my depression because I'm just really tough. I'm able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and go on no matter what." No, I got out of bed this morning because the Lord enabled me to get up. I keep putting one foot in front of the other not because it's necessarily what I feel like doing, but because the Lord is my strength and my hope. Because He exists and because He loves me, I don't feel like giving up.
Our situations and circumstances may be grim, and we may feel unwell in body or in mind, but we are never without hope. Christ is our living hope. (1 Peter 1:3) Christ is our hope both in this life and in the life to come. He didn't suffer only to give us victory over death; He also suffered so we could have victory over life. Because He came and gave His life to redeem us from our sins, and because He rose from the dead to prove that His sacrifice on our behalf was acceptable to a holy God, and because He forever lives to make intercession for us...we are never hopeless! We are never without strength! Our own minds may tell us there's no hope. Our own physical strength may not be enough to get us through the day. But the Lord is able to give us what we lack, so we can say as Paul says, "When I am weak, then am I strong!"
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