For the past several days the apostle has been speaking about sexual immorality in the church. Today he moves on to the subject of marriage. He talks about the marriage partners being faithful to each other and about the importance of maintaining sexual relations in marriage so that neither partner will look elsewhere. He also talks about what to do if one marriage partner has become a Christian and the other partner has not. We will look at whether it is permissable to separate or divorce.
The Corinthian church has been maintaining correspondence with the Apostle Paul and he addresses questions they have asked him regarding sex and marriage. "Now for the matters you wrote about: 'It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.' But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2) He appears to be quoting a statement made to him in a letter from the Corinthian church. Perhaps now that they were Christians they considered sex, even between a husband and wife, a carnal thing. But there is nothing unholy about sexual relations between a husband and wife; God has sanctified the marriage relationship.
In Paul's opinion, and in the Lord's opinion, relations between husband and wife are a good thing. "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." (1 Corinthians 7:3-7) The Lord does not command a husband and wife to "fast" from sex as a person might fast from food during an extended period of time (several days or a week) as they pray together over important matters. But since fasting implies denying the flesh, Paul thinks focusing on the Lord and not thinking about physical matters is beneficial for a limited time as long as both partners are in agreement about it.
Paul is single and does not struggle with sexual temptations. He considers it a gift because it allows him to focus on his work for the kingdom of Christ. He could not risk his life for the gospel the way he does if he had a wife and children to support. It is unknown whether he was ever married, but many scholars think it's likely that he was. Before his conversion he held a high rank among the Pharisees and was a member of the Sanhedrin, and an unmarried man could not be a member of the Sanhedrin. If a man were married when he became a member, and his wife died, I assume his widowed state would not affect his standing in the Sanhedrin. So Paul may have been married at one time and his wife died young. He never mentions having any biological children, and I think if he ever was married either he or his wife was sterile or she died so soon after their marriage that they never got a chance to have children.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:8-9) As we get further into Chapter 7 this week we will see why Paul feels it is better to stay unmarried during the time in which they were living. The Christians were already dealing with persecution. Worse persecution was coming soon under Emperor Nero who developed a hatred for Christians that could be compared to Adolf Hitler's hatred for Jews. A person who was working for Christ was risking his or her life, and that person could work better for Christ if he or she was not worried about the safety of a spouse and children.
"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) We must keep in mind that Paul is writing to believers. He is not saying that a wife who is being abused by her husband shouldn't flee the house for her own safety. He is not saying that a husband whose wife is being unfaithful to him can't separate from her. He is speaking to Christians who, hopefully, are not doing such things. If a marriage partner has already left the household for some reason, he urges them to work things out. He says he is speaking on the authority of the Lord by giving this advice.
Now he gives advice on his own authority, but it's sound advice. The Corinthian church members are wondering what they should do if one partner in the marriage has accepted Christ and the other partner has not. They want to know whether the marriage is still valid. They want to know whether one partner has the right to leave the other over their differences. This is Paul's opinion on the subject, "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he is not to divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." (1 Corinthians 7:12-14) The believer is a sanctifying presence in the household. The believer brings the grace of God into the household by his or her devotion to the Lord and by his or her prayers. The unbelieving spouse may end up accepting the Lord through the godly influence of the believing spouse. The children can be brought up in the faith by the believing spouse. It is better for the believer to remain in the household so that he or she can display, by both words and actions, the love of Christ to the other household members.
There are cases in which the unbeliever does not want to live with a spouse who has become a Christian. This person may have no interest in the Lord and may not care for the ways in which his or her marriage partner has changed. "But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Corinthians 7:15-16) Another thing we must keep in mind is that Paul is not saying it's okay for a believer to marry an unbeliever. We are not to be unequally yoked together. (2 Corinthians 6:14) He is speaking to couples in a Gentile city where neither partner was a believer until they heard the gospel, and then one partner believed and the other partner did not believe.
Does this mean that if the unbeliever leaves the believer can file for divorce? Does this mean the believer can then remarry? Many scholars and various Christian denominations believe this is the case. When Paul says "the brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances", it does sound as if it is allowable to dissolve the marriage. It is not clear whether Paul feels the believer is free to remarry. I think the believer in such circumstances should make any decisions regarding divorce or remarriage prayerfully and with the guidance of the Lord. But if the believer does remarry it should only be to another believer.
This is my own advice, but I think it's sound advice: if you are a believer and have never been married and you are seeking a spouse, or if you are a believer who is divorced for Biblical reasons and you are seeking a spouse, don't settle for anyone who doesn't love Jesus as much or more than you do.
No comments:
Post a Comment