"In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David." (1 Samuel 20:35a) David is hiding nearby while Jonathan pretends to be going out into the field for the purpose of target shooting. "He had a small boy with him, and he said to the boy, 'Run and find the arrows I shoot.' As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him." (1 Samuel 20:35b-36) The signal that it's safe to go back to his normal life was that David would hear Jonathan saying to the boy, "The arrows are on this side of you; bring them here." But the signal that David must flee the area was if he heard Jonathan say, "The arrows are beyond you."
Jonathan is a battle-experienced marksman. He shoots the arrow exactly where he wants it to go so he can say to the boy the words David needs to hear to get the message he's trying to send. "When the boy came to the place where Jonathan's arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him, 'Isn't the arrow beyond you?'" (1 Samuel 20:37) These are the words Jonathan said would mean, "You must go, because the Lord has sent you away." (1 Samuel 20:22)
I imagine David's time of waiting has been tense and difficult for him. Saul said nothing about his absence on the first day of the feast, which meant no word came to him on that day. On the second day of the feast, when Saul questioned Jonathan about David's absence, Saul flew into a rage and threw his spear at the very son whose line of royal succession he claimed to be interested in preserving. Saul missed Jonathan with the spear and Jonathan left the table in a rage and did not participate in the second day of the feast. It was evidently too late in the day (perhaps dark) for it to make sense for Jonathan to go into the field for the supposed purpose of target shooting, so it isn't until the following morning that a message can finally be delivered to David. When that message comes, it's not what David wants to hear. It's probably not what he expected either, for a man who has been anointed as the next king of Israel would expect to be able to remain near the current political and military capital of the nation. The man the Lord chose because he is "a man after His own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14) wouldn't expect to become an outcast, forced to live in forests and caves while he hides like a fugitive from an evil king.
But the Lord's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8) What looks logical to our human minds often aren't the methods that will produce the best results. It may have made sense to David that he would remain as close to the king's court as possible, where he would learn all the ins and outs of running a government and overseeing an army. But the Lord has chosen a different training ground---a better training ground. He's going to put David where he can rely on no one but the Lord. He's going to put David in a position of authority, though not the one he expected, and He is going to teach David how to turn a band of misfits and discontents into a cohesive community and into a powerful group of highly trained soldiers. We must keep in mind that when David becomes king it won't be in spite of all the difficulties and opposition that have come against him; it will be because of all the hardships he's endured during the years he lives in exile. The difficult days he'd prefer to avoid are going to be the very days that prepare him to lead the nation when at last the crown is placed upon his head.
Jonathan sends the young servant boy away so he can say goodbye to his best friend privately. "Then he shouted, 'Hurry! Go quickly! Don't stop!' The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. (The boy knew nothing about all this; only Jonathan and David knew.) Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, 'Go, carry them back to town.'" (1 Samuel 20:38-40) Jonathan knows he will never be king if David continues living, yet he sends his weapons away with the servant and greets with empty hands the man who will be king in his place. If Jonathan had been anything like his father, he would have used this opportunity to pull a dagger from his cloak and stab him to death. But thankfully he is not that kind of man! If David is a man with a heart like the Lord's, we can say that Jonathan is a man with a heart like John the Baptist's, for I'm reminded of what John the Baptist said when Jesus began His public ministry, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30) Jonathan seeks the Lord's will above all else---even above his own hopes and dreams for the future. Until David came on the scene I am sure Jonathan pictured himself succeeding Saul as king. But as soon as Jonathan knew the Lord had other plans, he got on board with the Lord. He is essentially saying, "David must become greater; I must become less."
"After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together---but David wept the most." (1 Samuel 20:41) David bows three times as a person would when in the presence of royalty. Jonathan outranks him both militarily and politically and David shows him the deference his position deserves. I think also David is showing him as best he can, without words, how enormously and eternally grateful he is to the man who unselfishly gives up any claim to the throne. In saving David's life, Jonathan is relinquishing his rights of royal succession.
Jonathan weeps in sympathy for David who is about to lose so much due to one wicked man's madness. He weeps for himself too, not over losing the crown but over losing the companionship of his best friend. He doesn't know whether he will ever see David again. David weeps even harder than Jonathan does because he's losing even more than the companionship of a best friend. He's losing everything that's familiar to him. He's losing the company of his wife and the company of his parents and siblings since he would bring Saul's rage upon them if he sought shelter under their roofs. David doesn't know when or if he will see his best friend, his wife, his parents, or his brothers and their families ever again. He knows it's his destiny to be king someday but he doesn't know how far in the future that will be. His loved ones could pass on before he is able to return.
"Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.' Then David left, and Jonathan went back to town." (1 Samuel 20:42) Jonathan says, "Our covenant with each other stands forever, even if we never again see each other face to face on this earth. May the house of David and the house of Jonathan be allied always in the name of our Lord."
I can almost feel their anguish, can't you? This is a very sad parting, almost as sad as being parted by death. This is not the outcome they wanted or expected. They expected to enjoy each other's friendship their whole lives long, with their children and grandchildren growing up together. But it is not to be. The Lord has different destinies for each of them. The man who grew up as a prince will be a mighty general on the battlefield instead of reigning as king. The man who grew up performing the humble job of watching the sheep will wear the crown. Each of these men is willing to yield himself to the will of the Lord, whatever that may be, instead of making his own hopes and dreams come true. What an example of obedient faith they set for us today!
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