The vow they made was very unwise and it was made in a spirit of bitterness because, following the civil war in Israel, the fighting men of the other tribes wanted to see the tribe of Benjamin driven to extinction. In our next verse we find the people saying that the Lord had made a gap in the tribes of Israel but it was actually the vow itself---made in the name of the Lord and therefore unbreakable---that created the gap in the tribes of Israel. "The people grieved for Benjamin, because the Lord had made a gap in the tribes of Israel. And the elders of the assembly said, 'With the women of Benjamin destroyed, how shall we provide heirs for the men who are left? The Benjamite survivors must have heirs,' they said, 'so that a tribe of Israel will not be wiped out.'" (Judges 21:15-17)
Many scholars whose commentaries I regularly consult feel that most or all of the marriageable young Benjamite ladies were killed in the aftermath of the civil war when we were told that the Israelite soldiers killed every man, woman, and child of Gibeah and of the surrounding towns and villages. But even if there were marriageable women remaining, not allowing young women from other tribes to intermarry with the Benjamites would have, in time, resulted in the Benjamites having no one to marry who was not too closely related to them. This would have forced them into extinction, either by leaving them with no one to marry or by causing them to take wives from among the heathens which in turn would likely have resulted in them falling into idolatry and incurring the wrath of the Lord.
The very men who are worried about the problem in Chapter 21 are the ones who created the problem. They are quite aware of that fact by now and I am sure they wish they could take back their hastily uttered oath. They say, "'We can't give them our daughters as wives, since we Israelites have taken this oath: 'Cursed be anyone who gives a wife to a Benjamite.' But look, there is the annual festival of the Lord in Shiloh, which lies north of Bethel, east of the road that goes from Bethel to Shechem, and south of Lebonah.' So they instructed the Benjamites, saying, 'Go and hide in the vineyards and watch. When the young women of Shiloh come out to join in the dancing, rush from the vineyards and each of you seize one of them to be your wife. Then return to the land of Benjamin. When their fathers or brothers complain to us, we will say to them, 'Do us the favor of helping them, because we did not get wives for them during the war. You will not be guilty of breaking your oath because you did not give your daughters to them.'" (Judges 21:18-22)
They've found a way to break the oath without technically breaking the oath. They are going to stage a fake kidnapping. They aren't going to tell the men of Shiloh ahead of time that their single daughters are about to be carried off by the Benjamites. That way, when the men of Shiloh complain about it and bring up the oath, the others can say to them, "You are blameless where the oath is concerned. You did not give your daughters to the Benjamites. Those rascally Benjamites rushed in and swept your daughters up and carried them away without your permission. Now there's nothing to be done about the situation. If you ride off after the Benjamites to take your daughters back, they are no longer marriageable because you can't prove they aren't already legally wed to the Benjamites with the marriages consummated. That means you'll be supporting your daughters for the rest of your life. It's best just to accept that your sons-in-law are Benjamites. But you need not fear that any of us will put you to death for breaking your vow or that the Lord will call you to account for breaking your vow. You did not willingly hand your daughters over and you are not to blame."
The Benjamites are happy with the solution to their problem and they do as they've been instructed. "So that is what the Benjamites did. While the young women were dancing, each man caught one and carried her off to be his wife. Then they returned to their inheritance and rebuilt the towns and settled in them. At that time the Israelites left that place and went home to their tribes and clans, each to his own inheritance. In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit." (Judges 21:23-25) Was everything that happened in the last few chapters something that was admirable or godly? No, and that's why the author of Judges concludes the book by saying, as he's said several times before, "Everyone did as they saw fit."
Did the young ladies of Shiloh want to go with the Benjamites or were they taken against their will? Some scholars offer the opinion that these ladies made themselves "easy to catch" so they could become the wives of the wealthy Benjamites. But there's no proof for or against that theory. We have no idea whether the women did or did not want to go with the young warriors who---literally if not emotionally---swept them off their feet. In the ancient world, women were all too often at the mercy of the whims of men, and men weren't always merciful to them. Men didn't always care about women's feelings. We don't know whether the ladies of Shiloh were emotionally captivated by the Benjamites who rode off into the sunset with them but as we move on into the book of Ruth tomorrow we are going to meet a man who does care about the feelings and the rights of women. We are going to meet a man who knows how to treat a woman with respect. We are going to study what probably was a true love story of the Bible as we study the story of the man and woman who will later be the great-grandparents of King David and the ancestors of Jesus of Nazareth.
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