Today we look at information regarding divorce and remarriage in ancient Israel. "If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance." (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
The word translated "indecent" means "shame, disgrace, nakedness, impropriety". After beginning to live in holy matrimony with his wife, the husband has found her not to be the godly woman he thought she was. In Moses' day not all marriages were love matches; many marriages were arranged marriages. A man might not have known his wife for very long before marrying her. She may have come from a household that serves the Lord but it could turn out that she is not all that interested in righteous living. Even in cases where a man chooses his own wife, her true character cannot necessarily be known until he actually has to live with her day by day. If her husband finds out she's been unfaithful or if she's been deliberately behaving in provocative ways to invite the attention of other men or if she's engaging in some type of spiritual unfaithfulness to the Lord (taking part in idolatrous or occult practices) the man can divorce her.
By Jesus' day men were being allowed to divorce their wives for all manner of frivolous reasons. A man could write his wife a certificate of divorce because he fell out of love with her or because she was a bad cook, for example. These things were never intended to be grounds for divorce, as Jesus pointed out. The grounds for divorce had to be based on a spouse's very serious moral failings or spiritual failings. A man couldn't just say, "Oh, she's a good old gal but I just don't feel about her the way I used to. I'm going to write her a certificate of divorce. Then she'll be free to remarry if she wants to and I'll be free to meet and fall in love with a new woman and get married again." Jesus said divorce was never intended to be used in this manner. The Lord would prefer that divorce never happens at all, for Jesus reminded His listeners that a husband and wife are a unit (one body) and He compared the breaking apart of this unit to the cutting in two of a human body. He said that if divorce occurs it must only be because of infidelity. (See Matthew 19:3-9 for the entirety of this passage. Also see Mark 10:12 which shows us it wasn't only a man who had the right to divorce a spouse; a woman could initiate a divorce as well.) The innocent party has the right to divorce the spouse guilty of adultery but the innocent party is not required to divorce the guilty party. If a husband and wife are able to reconcile with the help of the Lord and have a good marriage, that is a wonderful thing and a testament to the ability of the Lord to make beauty from ashes.
In our text today Moses says that if a man divorces his wife and she remarries, and if she becomes divorced again or if her second husband dies, the first husband is not to take her back. I think this law is intended to make a man think very seriously about whether he wants to divorce his wife at all. Suppose he has found a serious moral or spiritual failing in her. Or suppose she has been unfaithful to him. Before immediately seeking a divorce because he is hurt and angry, perhaps he should see if the two of them can work things out. It could be that if he searches his own heart he'll realize he's neglected his wife emotionally, causing her to feel unloved and unappreciated. Perhaps he has not been attentive to her needs. He's been providing for her by putting a roof over her head and clothes on her back and food in her tummy, but maybe he's been emotionally or physically distant from her, causing her to be lonely and depressed. This doesn't mean her infidelity was justified, of course, but maybe the husband will conclude that both he and his wife could have worked harder on their marriage. Or maybe, faced with a potential divorce, the wife repents of her wrongdoing and renews her vow of faithfulness to her husband. Maybe he has been very good to her and she realizes she's treated him terribly. Knowing he can never remarry her if she has been married to someone else after their divorce, he will be compelled to think about whether he actually wants to divorce her at all and he may instead decide to accept her apology and go forward with her.
I think this law is intended to facilitate reconciliation rather than divorce. Divorce is not to be taken lightly and neither is marriage or remarriage. If a person has already gone through a divorce and has remarried, the prohibition against remarrying a first spouse after having been married again helps to prevent the remarried person from taking their second marriage lightly. A man or woman can't say, "I was happier in my first marriage than in this one. I'll just divorce my second spouse and go back to my first spouse."
The Lord would prefer marriages to last for a lifetime but He allows divorce when there has been unfaithfulness. I also believe He makes allowances when abuse (physical or emotional) is occurring in a marriage. In a case like that I don't feel the abused spouse is compelled to stay and take the abuse. There are a number of examples in the Bible of persons removing themselves from dangerous situations, and although none of these examples specifically regard marriage, I think these examples indicate that every person has the right to protect their health or their life from someone who means them harm. The Bible doesn't say whether or not an abused spouse can file for divorce; some ministers of the gospel believe separation is what's called for until their abusive partner gets help and changes their ways. Reconciliation is the goal but of course that depends on the abusive spouse seeing the error of their ways and wanting to change.
All in all, the Lord wants marriage taken seriously. It's to be considered a lifetime commitment. If mistakes were made in a first marriage and a second marriage has taken place, care must be taken not to make the same mistakes.
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