Joseph is holding Simeon in custody while his brothers take grain home and tell their father that they must return to Egypt with Benjamin. That is not going to be good news for their father Jacob. At this point the family does not know that the formidable governor of Egypt is actually Joseph and they have no idea what this man is capable of doing.
The men are about to head home and Joseph gives instructions to his servants about packing the supplies his brothers purchased. "Joseph gave orders to fill their bags with grain, to put each man's silver back in his sack, and to give them provisions for their journey. All this was done for them; they loaded their grain on their donkeys and left." (Genesis 42:25-26) Why does Joseph give them their money back, unbenownst to them? He must have known they'd be horrified to find it, so I tend to think hiding the money in their sacks is another insurance policy (in addition to holding Simeon in Egypt) to guarantee their return.
"At the place where they stopped for the night one of them opened his sack to get food for his donkey, and he saw his silver in the mouth of his sack. 'My silver has been returned,' he said to his brothers. 'Here it is in my sack.' Their hearts sank and they turned to each other trembling and said, 'What is this that God has done to us?'" (Genesis 42:27-28) The other men don't check their sacks at this time because it never occurs to them that such a mistake would have been made in all ten of their sacks. They certainly don't suspect that the governor of Egypt did this on purpose; they either think a servant put the money back in by mistake or that God supernaturally put it back in the sack. Either way, they feel this is punishment for their sins. The governor of Egypt already suspects they are spies but now he will think they are thieves as well. They don't know whether he will send officers after them or whether he will arrest them when they return to Egypt with Benjamin. But they must return to Egypt. It's the only way to retrieve Simeon and to try to set things straight about the silver, if they can get the man in charge to listen to them and believe them.
There's nothing they can do but head on home. They can't turn around and go straight back to Egypt because their families are waiting for food. The governor is unlikely to listen to anything they have to say unless they obey his instructions to bring Benjamin with them. They have to go home before doing anything else. "When they came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan, they told him all that had happened to them. They said, 'The man who is lord over the land spoke harshly to us and treated us as though we were spying on the land. But we said to him, 'We are honest men; we are not spies. We are twelve brothers, sons of one father. One is no more, and the youngest is now with our father in Canaan.' Then the man who is lord over the land said to us, 'This is how I will know whether you are honest men: Leave one of your brothers here with me, and take food for your starving households and go. But bring your youngest brother to me so I will know that you are not spies but honest men. Then I will give your brother back to you, and you can trade in the land.'" (Genesis 42:29-34)
While telling their father about their upsetting journey, the men are unpacking the food supplies they bought. It's at this point that each of them realizes his money is in his sack. The night before, when one of them fed his donkey grain from his sack, I assume they all fed their donkeys from the same sack. It would have been inconvenient and unnecessary to open every sack to get grain for each donkey out of a separate sack. It's not until they are back home that they realize they all still have their money. "As they were emptying their sacks, there in each man's sack was his pouch of silver! When they and their father saw the money pouches, they were frightened." (Genesis 42:35) The fear that falls on them is a holy fear and a dread of the One who judges sins. They know there's probably no way the governor's servants made such a huge mistake. They could imagine, maybe, a servant accidentally putting one man's silver in with the grain. But in ten men's sacks? No way! They are certain it is the judgment of Almighty God. The men stand there in shock, trembling with fear.
Jacob is also afraid, but not for the same reason. He doesn't know his ten oldest sons have done things to incur the wrath of the living God. He has no idea about the guilt and shame in their hearts. All he know is that he's already lost his son Joseph, is almost certainly going to lose Simeon, and is in danger of losing Benjamin too. "Their father Jacob said to them, 'You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more, and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!'" (Genesis 42:36) Jacob has no intention in this moment of sending Benjamin to Egypt and that this is why he has written Simeon off as dead. When we arrive at verse 38 he will very clearly voice his refusal to send his youngest son. If he doesn't send his sons back to Egypt with Benjamin and with the silver, he won't see Simeon again. He thinks that Simeon will either be forced into slavery for the rest of his life or that he will be executed when the others don't return to Egypt. But he is willing to sacrifice Simeon to keep from losing Benjamin. He says something like, "How can I trust you with Benjamin? You couldn't be trusted to look after young Joseph! You couldn't keep Simeon from being arrested. Why did you have to run your mouths and tell the governor you even had a brother back home in Canaan? If you hadn't mentioned Benjamin, the man wouldn't know he exists. If I let Benjamin go with you I will lose him too."
Reuben, the eldest son and the spokesperson for the entire group, promises to do everything possible to keep Benjamin safe. He dramatically swears it on the lives of his two sons. "Then Reuben said to his father, 'You may put both of my sons to death if I do not bring him back to you. Entrust him to my care, and I will bring him back.'" (Genesis 42:37) Of course no one intends to kill Reuben's sons if he's unable to keep his promise. He makes this statement to show his Jacob that he understands his feelings. Reuben is a father himself, and he loves his sons dearly, and he knows it would feel like someone ripped his heart out of his chest if he lost them. He's saying to his father, "I'll protect and defend Benjamin as if he were my own. As one father to another, believe me when I say I understand your love for Benjamin and your fears for his safety. I would have those same fears if it were one of my sons going down to Egypt. That's how you can be sure you can trust me with him. I'll stop at nothing to bring him back home to you safely."
Jacob is adamant in his refusal. "But Jacob said, 'My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you would bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow." (Genesis 42:38) Jacob says, "It would kill me to lose Benjamin. It would literally kill me to lose my only remaining son with Rachel. If you let anything happen to him, I wouldn't be able to go on living. My blood would be on your hands and you would be responsible for my death if you didn't bring him back to me safely. And I just don't trust you to bring him back to me."
In Jacob's heart he really only ever had one wife: Rachel. He so obviously preferred the two sons he had with her that he created the unhealthy family dynamic that led to the loss of Joseph. Now he'd rather lose Simeon for good than take the risk of losing Benjamin. He'd rather lose them all in favor of Benjamin and, sadly, they know it. My heart hurts for his ten other sons. Imagine how painful it must have been growing up in an environment where they were always considered second best to the sons of Rachel. It's extremely damaging to males who never really have their father's approval. You can ask my husband about that. My husband is fifty years old and his father has been dead for ten years now, but the fact that his father never told him he loved him and that he was proud of him still affects him and it probably always will. For a long time I think it affected my husband's relationship with his heavenly Father, for he imagined God as a bigger, more powerful version of his earthly father. People who grow up with fathers who are hard to please and who don't show them approval and affection tend to be people who have trouble accepting that God the Father is not sitting up in heaven constantly finding fault with them. They project the personalities of their earthly fathers onto their heavenly Father and that makes it difficult for them to see God as He really is. God isn't waiting to catch them doing something wrong so He can criticize them. God, like a good father, wants to encourage their spiritual growth by recognizing their good works and their faith. God wants to build people up, not tear people down. I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that the ten older sons of Jacob struggled with understanding the loving nature of God because they never fully felt they had their earthly father's love. That may explain why they were so wicked and rebellious in their youth.
Jacob has no intention of sending Benjamin to Egypt. But right now the kitchen cupboards are full. Right now Jacob's hunger is satisfied. The famine is going to continue and the food brought back from Egypt will run out. A day is coming when he will have no choice but to send Benjamin to Egypt.
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