Paul is still speaking today to the single people in the Corinthian church. Just as we did yesterday, we need to keep in mind that his advice to remain single has to do with the persecution they were facing. Paul himself went through a great deal of hardship and persecution as he worked to get the gospel to the world, as he points out in 2 Corinthians 11. In that letter he reminds his readers that he has been in prison several times, has been whipped with thirty-nine lashes on five occasions, has been beaten with rods three times, has been pelted with stones once, has been shipwrecked on three separate occasions, spent a whole day and night in the ocean, has been in danger from both Jewish and Gentile enemies, has gone hungry and thirsty, has gone without sleep, and has done without other daily necessities from time to time. Being a Christian in Paul's day wasn't for sissies, and he tells the single believers that they can better devote their time to the Lord if they aren't concerned with making a spouse happy and providing for a family and keeping a family safe.
"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs---how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world---how he can please his wife---and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world---how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) Paul apparently does not struggle with physical lusts, so he considers it a gift to be able to remain celibate. Most people don't have the "gift" of celibacy and it's a good thing they don't, or else the human race would perish. Marriage is a union blessed by God. It is holy in the sight of God, and Paul doesn't have anything against marriage itself. Paul simply feels that due to the dangers involved in spreading the gospel it's better for believers to devote themselves to the Lord and to the building of His kingdom. He doesn't know if persecution is going to become so bad that Christians will be forbidden to teach the gospel. He doesn't know if they are going to have to hide themselves away in order to stay alive. He doesn't know whether the enemies of the gospel might threaten to torture or kill a person's family if that person does not renounce the name of Christ. In his opinion it's better for the single people of his day to devote all their time to the Lord while they still can.
But he recognizes that not everyone is like him. "If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married." (1 Corinthians 7:36) In yesterday's passage he advised engaged Christians to honor their commitments. There may have been men in the Corinthian church who had already asked women to marry them, but now they are dragging the engagement period out. They are not certain if they should go through with the marriage or whether they should remain celibate. If the women involved are agreeable, it would probably be alright to keep delaying marriage, but I am sure that many of these women were not agreeable to the delays. In those days an unmarried and childless woman was often looked upon with pity. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to be engaged to a man only to have him keep putting off setting a date for the wedding. Her friends might start to say things to each other like, "He would love to back completely out. He doesn't love her anymore." Eligible bachelors in the community might be interested in her but they would be prevented from courting her because of her engagement. Meanwhile she isn't getting any younger as she waits for her fiance to go through with the wedding.
Paul says for the engaged man not to treat his fiancee dishonorably. If the man longs for a physical relationship with her, he should go ahead and marry her. If the man realizes he is happier being celibate, the best thing he could do is break off the engagement so she can be courted by other marriageable men and reach her goal of obtaining a husband. "But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin---this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better." (1 Corinthians 7:37-38) If a person is happier being single, that person would be better off to remain single. It isn't fair to the person he marries if he is not wholly committed to the marriage. Plus, in Paul's day there was persecution to contend with. The man who wanted to spend all his time to spreading the gospel was better off remaining single so he wouldn't bring danger into his household.
"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is---and I think that I too have the Spirit of God." (1 Corinthians 7:39-40) Now Paul addresses those in the church who have been married previously but are now widowed. There is nothing sinful about a widowed person getting remarried, so he reminds those Christians who are widowed not to marry an unbeliever. Then he says in his opinion he feels the widowed person would be happier remaining single. Paul, through the Holy Spirit, has the gift of remaining celibate. Those in the church who have been widowed and now realize they are fine with remaining celibate for the rest of their lives should do so. It wouldn't be fair to a new spouse if the person has little to no interest in a physical relationship. But if the widowed Christian desires a marriage relationship, there is nothing wrong with getting remarried as long as it is to another Christian. Because he is happier being single, Paul considers it a desirable state, but not everyone is happier being single. In those cases the person should remarry, for as he said in our study yesterday, "It is better to marry than to burn with passion." People who aren't happy being celibate are only going to be tempted into sex outside of marriage, so in order to keep sex within marriage these people need a spouse.
Both married people and single people can serve the Lord. What each person must do is search their heart and be honest with themselves. Are you happier as a single person or would you be happier as a married person? If you prefer being single, and if you are able to control yourself physically, then there's nothing wrong with remaining single. If you prefer being married, and if through the guidance of the Lord you find the right Christian person, there's nothing wrong with getting married. But if you are already married, and if you feel like you'd be happier as a single person, Paul is not giving you permission to divorce your spouse. In that case you must, with the Lord's help, work on your marriage. The Lord can do amazing things in a marriage; I can tell you that from my own experience. I've been married twenty-four years this month and it's only by the grace of God. There have been several times my husband and I almost agreed to call it quits. There have been several times when only one of us felt like calling it quits, but even if only one person in the marriage is asking the Lord to make things better, He can do amazing things. At this point my marriage is in the best condition it has ever been and all the credit for that goes to the Lord. If you are unhappy in your marriage for reasons other than Biblical grounds for divorce, or if you are unhappy due to reasons other than emotional or physical abuse, give your unhappiness to the Lord and see what He will do about it.
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