The Apostle Peter has often been shamed in the minds of those who assert confidently to themselves, "I would never have denied my Lord!" But the truth is, we have all denied our Lord in one way or another. Any time we say or do anything that is contrary to the nature of the new creatures we are in Christ, we deny Him. But bless His holy name, He extends the same mercy and love to us that He extended to Peter! The story of Peter's denial is not a story about a man who failed, but a story about a Man who didn't. Peter himself must have told this story, or else we wouldn't have a record of it in the gospels, and he told it to glorify the Son of God whose blood sacrifice was great enough to cover a sin Peter felt should have been unforgivable.
While the trial of Jesus has been taking place before the Sanhedrin at the house of the high priest, Peter has been warming himself by a fire in the courtyard. "While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him." (Mark 14:66-67a) It's a cold night in Jerusalem and Peter is huddled so close to the fire that the light from it illuminates his face. A servant girl passing by thinks he looks familiar. Taking a closer look, she realizes where shes's seen him before. "'You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,' she said." (Mark 14:67)
I think this startles Peter. Up til now he's been able to blend in with the other men gathered in the courtyard. It's the middle of the night and he's wearing a heavy cloak, likely with his head covered, and in the dark he looks pretty much like everyone else. The last thing he wants is for the guards of the high priest to hear the servant girl's remark. They might throw him back outside the gates and then he won't know what's going on with Jesus. Or they might decide to drag him inside and put him on trial along with Jesus. Peter probably speaks in a low voice when he answers the girl. "But he denied it. 'I don't know or understand what you're talking about,' he said, and went out into the entryway." (Mark 14:68)
Peter puts some distance between himself and the light from the fire and tries to blend into the shadows near the entrance. The servant girl spots him again lurking in the shadows. "When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, 'This fellow is one of them.' Again he denied it." (Mark 14:69-70a) The scrutiny of the other men in the courtyard is unwelcome. I think Peter now begins to sweat heavily in spite of the cold as panic begins to take hold of him. Peter began this long evening with a peaceful supper in an upper room with his closest friends on earth; since then everything has turned into a nightmare. He doesn't understand what is happening or why it is happening. He has no idea what is going to take place next, but since the situation keeps going from bad to worse, he doesn't have high hopes for a happy conclusion.
The Bible doesn't tell us whether Peter makes small talk with the other men gathered in the garden or whether they've just overheard him denying being with Jesus, but his regional accent gives him away. "After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, 'Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.'" (Mark 14:70b) The Apostle John adds this bit of information, "One of the high priest's servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, 'Didn't I see you with Him in the garden?" (John 18:26)
Peter can't take the strain anymore. It's bad enough he's been recognized as one of the Twelve, but now a relative of Malchus recognizes him as the one who assaulted a servant of the high priest with a sword. His fear reaches a tipping point and, in a desperate attempt to convince the men he is not one of the Twelve, he uses language unfit for a disciple of Christ. Assuming these men will conclude that a follower of Christ could not possibly speak or behave in such a manner, Peter reverts to the rough language he once used as he fished the waters of Galilee. "He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, 'I don't know this man you're talking about.'" (Mark 14:71)
"Immediately the rooster crowed a second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: 'Before the rooster crows twice you will disown Me three times.' And he broke down and wept." (Mark 14:72) Matthew and Luke tell us that Peter does his weeping outside and that his weeping is bitter. (Matthew 26:75, Luke 22:62) The dictionary defines "bitterness" as "anger and disappointment". Peter is angry and disappointed with himself. He believed with his whole heart that he would go to the death for Jesus if necessary. He thought that when push came to shove he would have what it takes to stand firm. Now, shattered to the core by his fickleness of heart, he removes himself from the scene. The observations of the servant girl and the accusations of the men around the fire weren't enough to entice him to leave the courtyard, but his own denial of Christ causes him to flee in shame. He is like the prodigal son who said to his father, "I am no longer worthy to be called your son." (Luke 15:19) Peter thinks to himself, "I am no longer worthy to be called a disciple of Jesus. I am no longer worthy to be anywhere near Him. I belong outside in the cold, in the dark."
We all, because of our sins, deserved to be left outside in the cold and the dark, far from the presence of the holy and righteous Son of God. But His love for us was so great that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". (Romans 5:8) Christ didn't die for us because we were nice people or because we had good intentions or because we performed good works. Christ died for us because we were sinners. Christ died for us because the things we had done were unforgivable and there was only one way to make them forgivable. Peter is going to find the forgiveness in Christ he so desperately needs. The same forgiveness extended to Peter is available to you and me.
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