In yesterday's passage Sarai offered Abram her personal maid, a slave named Hagar whom they acquired in Egypt, to be his secondary wife in order to use her as a surrogate mother. We discussed the custom that existed in Sarai's day that allowed a barren married woman to make this arrangement for the purpose of acquiring a child to be her adopted son and heir. We also talked about all the reasons throughout the years that led Sarai to make what must have been a difficult decision.
Today we take a look at what happens next. "Abram agreed to what Sarai said." (Genesis 16:2b)
Why did Abram agree? Was he going through his own crisis of faith? Maybe, because ten years have passed since the day the Lord promised him a son of his own flesh and blood. "So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife." (Genesis 16:3) On the one hand, Abram had such a close relationship with the Lord that we find it difficult to understand any doubts he may have harbored. On the other hand, we live in a society that's used to having what it wants right now. How well would we do if the Lord made us a very clear and specific promise but ten years go by without anything happening? Could we even hold out ten years as Abram did without trying to take matters into our own hands?
Maybe Abram didn't lack faith but was overcome with compassion to the point of doing anything to give the wife he loves what she wants. He knows, more than anyone other than the Lord, what a toll childlessness has taken on her. He's aware of every time she's had to force a smile when listening to someone's birth announcement. He realizes she's had to bear up under the pitying looks of the people of their community. He knows she's had to deal with whispers behind her back from people who suspect something must be wrong with her character if the Lord hasn't blessed her with a child. He has been with her during the nights she's cried herself to sleep. The one thing she wants most in the world, he can't give her by the usual means a man gives his wife a child. Something in her body has prevented conception and he's powerless to do anything about it. My own husband will tell you how sad and helpless it makes a man feel when his wife has a serious problem that he can't fix. It makes a man want to do something---anything---to make his wife feel better.
A third explanation for Abram's agreement is that, although the Lord promised him a son of his own flesh and blood, as far as we can tell from the Scriptures the Lord didn't specifically say that the child would be of Sarai's own flesh and blood. Abram was aware of the custom in which a wife could give her husband a female slave to be a second wife to him for the purpose of conceiving an heir. But just because this practice existed in the heathen communities surrounding Abram's homestead doesn't mean the Lord wanted Abram to do it. Just because the Bible tells us something happened doesn't mean the Lord approved of it; the Bible is simply telling us about life as it was in those times. Did Abram consult the Lord when presented with this offer by his wife? I don't see how he could have, for the Lord intends to give him a child with his wife Sarai, and the Lord would have given him a firm "no" in answer to his question. It may be that after ten long years of waiting for the Lord's promise to come true, Abram thinks Sarai's offer is the answer he's been waiting for. She has come up with this idea apparently on her own. She has reached the point of wanting a child so desperately that she thinks she can stomach the idea of placing her husband in another woman's arms long enough for him to conceive a child who can become her adopted son. I think when she presented this idea to Abram it seemed like the solution to all of their problems at once, and I don't feel he took time to consult with the Lord. Abram wants a solution and he wants it now, before more time passes and before his wife grows more despondent and before he himself (for he is getting old) dies without producing a son to carry on his name and to look after his widowed wife.
Join us tomorrow as we look at the third person involved in this unnecessary mess: Hagar, the Egyptian slave.
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